Happy Hump Day Extravaganza: The Return

Many, many moons ago, in a land called MySpace, I used to make it a point to blog a special blog on Wednesday. I called it “Happy Hump Day Extravaganza” and used the forum to post random bits and pieces about things that had occurred earlier in the week and the week previous. I figured that this would be a good day to return to those lost days and present a new installment for the WordPress edition of my eScribblings. Shall we begin?

Etta James, RIP

There really is not too much to say to this. The lady was an icon with incredible pipes. I will miss her terribly.

The Best Snack…Ever!

This morning when I arrived at one of sites that The Foundation supports, I happened to walk into the main office right as the building administrator was telling a few people there about an incident in Connecticuit. Apparently, a four year student decided to bring the party to his pre-school class and share his snack. Which just happened to be nine bags of pot. Wow! Nine bags of pot. That kid wanted to be sure that his whole class got crazy insane in the membrane! Apparently, the child did not know that the snack brought would have gone over better in the teacher’s lounge, at least they have lighters and the fine-motor coordination needed to roll a decent fatty, but that is of no consequence. The incredible thing is the article that came from the a news site that is local for those particular east coast residents:

MERIDEN — Police and DCF officials were called into an elementary school after a 4-year-old pulled out marijuana during snack time.

The teacher told police the 4-year-old special-needs child pulled out 9 individually wrapped bags of marijuana during snack time.

Police say the bags appeared to be wrapped for sale.

The child is a student at Hanover Elementary.

Police and officials from the Department of Children and Families are investigating the incident.

No arrests have been made.

Really? Nine bags that appear to be wrapped for sale? They are being too hard on that child. He may have been separating the snack for easier distribution to his classmates: “Okay, each table gets its own bag and hookah! We must share little people.” And nine bags? Yeah, right. There probably were many more, but who’s going to admit it? The parents? (“Um, excuse me, but there are actually fifteen bags missing from our stash…”) No there were more than that, they found their way to an after party thrown by a center educator of young people… And this was a special needs kid as well. Perhaps that was his special need! We need to stop hating on people and their nutritional choices. Perhaps he needed to really chill the hell out, and so did the rest of the class. Sometimes the only thing that works is a big fatty.

And no arrests have been made? It is not often that medical cheeba cheeba is bagged for resale and toted about by pre-kindergarten kiddies. Just saying…

Fatkins Eats Humble Pie?

Maybe I was missing something. Maybe the folks that I encountered in the past were misled on the Atkins Diet. Maybe I should have read up on the scheme and learned more. However, that is a lot of maybe, and I did none of the above. My understanding of the Atkins Diet was that you only filled your tum-tum with meat. Eschewing vitamin loaded vegetables and fruits, and eliminating the energy providing carbohydrates was the impression I had gotten from the dieters on that program who screamed its praise, yet still hit a plateau where they lost no more weight. A flock of tired, slightly smaller people, rapidly approaching gout and heart disease to lose the pounds that they worked hard to add to their frames. With no carbohydrates for energy, these tired souls could not attempt one of the most crucial parts of any weight loss protocol: exercise. It helps build efficient fat burning, lean muscle mass. But what do I know? I am just a vegetarian martial artist with low cholesterol, low blood pressure, and the energy to please a harem of nubile wenches (I just felt a little perverse and piratical…this entry was seeming a bit too inoffensive and tame).

But I digress. Where I mean to go with this is the commercial that I recently saw for the Atkins plan that specifies the inclusion of “healthy carbohydrates.” So, score one for the experts and take two from the misinformed puppets of the meat and dairy industry? Who knows?

American I-Don’ts

Do I really need to say more? Pretty soon, the horrible singers will be off, and I can go back to watching the antics of the dumbest whatevers on TruTV. Also, Jim Carrey’s daughter was on last night’s broadcast. She made it through the first audition and on to Hollywood. Jennifer Lopez said that she remembered the chica from the days when Jim would bring her onto the set of “In Living Color” when JLo was a flygirl on the show. And apparently, she made it through on her own merits. We shall see…

And here is a question: why do the contestants who show on one song that they have no talent, insist that they can do better by singing a different one? It never works out with a change for the failure.

Motorcycle Update

So, the saga continues with my poor motorcycle. I have resigned myself to paying for the damage myself. The bastard that ran it over has no intention of paying for the damage, and taking him to court would be too costly considering that the only victory that I would gain is the personal satisfaction of a judgement against him, a judgement that cannot affect his already horrid credit, a judgement that would never be paid.

I saw the bastard and that cunt muffin that he calls his significant other today and asked them about the damage to my motorcycle. I pointed out that October had come and gone, and they had not paid for the damage. That was when I was informed that they did not have to pay me a cent for my “piece of junk that ain’t worth the money I was asking for in repairs.” Well!

Needless to say, I am pretty upset about that situation. However, I do have a plan. A horrible plan. Hopefully, my intention will be clear and their children will not be orphaned. However, I only appealed for the intervention of the Dark Mother. We shall just have to see what she feels is an appropriate compensation to made for my loss. But for the rest of the world: Johnny Benson is a bitch! He destroys biker property and lives in Saginaw, Michigan. If you see him, do as you please. Mind you, I am not advocating any violent acts, that is left to the province of the spirits that should start chasing him in the next few hours…and until he dies. “Anger is a gift.”

And so, that will do it for today’s installment of these Hump Day shenanigans. Have a great one, happy humping!

 

3 comments

  1. If that kid was selling at the daycare I used to work, I would have bought from him. I seriously considered taking alcohol to work at one point, and not only that I actually knew someone who worked there who did that on a regular basis.

    I limit my carbs. I have to. I can’t eat that many carbs with the metabolism I have and not gain weight. I don’t strictly do Atkins. If I’m really doing it hardcore I try not to go over 30 grams (is it grams?) a day. I can’t go for weeks on end like I used to back in the day. I can’t even make it through a whole week. It’s not good. It’s also not good for you. It makes me really cranky and gives me headaches. I’m technically not supposed to put myself into ketosis. But I have been known to have eating-disorder-ly tendencies such as not allowing myself to eat until a certain time because punishing myself was somehow satisfying. I’m nuts though. Unfortunately it works, as does anorexia. I’m perfectly willing to workout and I do. I am just not willing to do 5 hours of cardio a day because quite frankly, I don’t have time and I’m not the type of person who would do that on any consistent basis as I’m also quite lazy 😀 I fully admit I am lazy and if I weren’t I would be one of those skinny bitches with no ass, which I don’t even find attractive to begin with. I’m pretty sure lack of carbs is why I’ve been really sleepy lately. I have too much pressure at the moment to look decent. Seeing people, meeting people, summer, it’s too much. As much as I wish I could, I cannot eat an entire loaf of banana bread (lol) and still look as cute as I do. (That was sarcasm and my low self esteem is paining me horribly to even type it in jest!) I’m fine with it though. I do my thing. And other people do their thing. What irks me though is super skinny people who think they can eat whatever they want and still claim to be healthy. Skinny doesn’t equate healthy. I know a bitch cunt I would love to rip into about THAT, believe me… you may know who I mean. Anyway, sorry I went on and on. I felt very much like I was on the psychoanalyst’s couch!

    Lol you said “cunt muffin.”

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