Tomorrow is a Day of Dread

I just viewed my pending comment page and noticed that I have four spam comments that have nothing at all to do with the posts with which they were left. I guess if they were relevant, then they would not be spam.

However, I am avoiding the subject. I have a toothache. I went to the doctor over the weekend and was told that I needed to see a dentist and get a tooth pulled. Oy gevalt…

You see, dear people, your beloved Xavier is afraid of dentists. Terribly afraid. I have had a problem with this tooth for two years now, and it always ends the same. I get the ache, I finally get a sedative and go to the dentist, he gives me a temporary fix until I go and see an oral surgeon, and I feel better and ignore the surgeon. This has gone on for years.

I understand that I really should go and see the dentist and should have long ago. Yet, the nagging fear of having my tooth stolen and then facing oral rape at the hands of a fiend in a white lab coat with scary tools is what keeps me from going.

This time, this time, this time I am going to the dentist. My appointment is for ten forty-five tomorrow morning. I am terrified.

Perhaps I would not be as phobic had the doctor I saw last weekend had not made the following comment to me:

“If I had a tooth-grabby thing, then I would pull it out myself.”

Really? Tooth-grabby thing?! Where did this fellow get his medical degree? From an online medical school hosted in the Cayman Islands? Who knows. I realize the good doctor was not a dentist, but surely he could have come up with something other than tooth-grabby thing.

Okay, I am starting to get a headache and my pulse has started racing from these dental thoughts. If I make it through the ordeal tomorrow, I shall tell you how it went.



    1. I have had teeth pulled, and the end result was not bad. Actually, my dental visits tend to end well. I do know that I can never seem to cognitively appreciate that, and I have no idea how to shake that anxiety. I am open to ideas and/or suggestions.

  1. What exactly do you think is going to happen and what exactly are you scared of? I’m assuming “mouth rape” is an exaggeration. I don’t like going to the dentist because I feel like they’re judging me. Any time I go they tell me to floss, which I don’t because who the hell does? Seriously, I know no one who flosses. Also it hurts and gives me floss splinters. Last time I went she had the main dentist dude come in and look at my x-rays and he was rude and asked if I was a pop-drinker and then when I said yes he said; “Do you HAVE to be?” I also hate that there is NEVER just one damn visit. It’s always a huge issue to get the one thing I want done without them up my ass about any other minor problems. They want to set up a schedule, etc. You’d think I had a mouth full of nightmares. (<—-That's a good line.)

    Anyway, like I said elsewhere, I would totally come cheer you up if you wanted. You'll be fine. No one is going to rape your mouth. I mean, hell, I would absolutely rape you and that is the last place I would start with.

      1. Well maybe you should get a female dentist? It’s much harder to perform oral rape. I mean she’d have to get all up on top of the chair and sit on your face, and quite frankly it’s not worth the trouble since you would be unconscious and not…doing anything. Unless she puts a boob in your mouth. But again, speaking as a female, there isn’t much point in doing that if the person is unconscious.

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