Month: January 2012

Big & Beautiful at the Strip Club, Shopping, and Tonight on Darkside Radio

The Octopus waves, beckons you to enjoy the show.

Octopus says: "Dance with the Green Faery!"

Greetings and Salutations! Tonight marks a momentous night for yours truly. It is the night after I went out to a local strip club with my dearest of dears, Charlotte. We happened to go on a night that was a feature evening: “Big and Beautiful Night.” The theme was big women, all amateurs, shaking it and getting naked for a chance to win a cool one thousand dollars.

What makes the night after such an even momentous? Very simple, I was both inspired and impressed by the fact that many of the entertainers last night danced to songs that one may hear some night if tuned into Darkside Radio. I am always pleased to see Gothic-Industrial-EBM strippers. Believe it or not, goth chicks have curves, only the males of our species tend to the skinny, waifish side of life…

But I digress… Before I get into the schedule of artists to be featured on Darkside Radio with DJ Xavier, let me give you a brief rundown of the events from last night. These will be highlights, people, a blog about the experience may come later. It may not even be necessary.

  1. Instead of just having the BBW’s dance and strip, the girls had to endure three “events.” The third event, was the actual dancing, the first two events were 1) Topless Jump-roping, and 2) Naked Hula Hooping.
  2. During the hula hoop event, one girl fell off of the stage, and onto a customer sitting in the audience.
  3. One girl danced one entire song, and most of second, before pulling a lollipop out of her, we you know…
  4. Not to be outdone by the “Crouching BBW, Hidden Lollipop” that came before her, the next contestant appeared with a giant lollipop shaped like a cock and began to get herself off with it. Really! She was going to town.

And there you have a brief rundown of what happened last night at the titty bar. Believe it or not, that is the first time that I have used the phrase “titty bar.” And in print! I feel lecherous.

I went shopping earlier today and bought a couple of new suits, a coat, and a top coat. Why is this important? Well, dear readers, the suit shopping marks another milestone in the life of Xavier A.S. Rothechilde: one of the suits is actually sort of navy blue. Yes! It is true! The X man has actually purchased a suit that was not black! “It’s the end of the world as we know it…” Further, I did not purchase a white shirt. I bought a blue shirt and a brownish one, and even a gold-ish colored tie. I bought clothing that has color!!! Not that there is anything wrong with that. There will be more to this tale as well. In fact, between the strip club and the shopping, I think I may have a total blog entry.

Well, I have gone on for quite enough time about stuff and should get on with the other purpose of this entry: the artist who will be providing the rhythm for the gothic dance with the Green Faery. Grab your absinthe, sugar and ice water, it is almost time.

To listen, tune to http://darksideradio.com at 10:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time (US).

Enjoy!

Tonight’s Featured Artists (Subject To Change)

Cocteau Twins

Joy Division

Bauhaus

Siouxsie and the Banshees

Leonard Cohen

Nouvelle Vague

Tre Lux

Gerard McMann

Talking Heads

Sonic Youth

Dead Kennedys

Type O Negative

The Cure

Depeche Mode

Switchblade Symphony

The Gothacoustic Ensemble

U2

Lacuna Coil

Nine Inch Nails

Mindless Self Indulgence

Ministry & Co-Conspirators

HorrorPops

The Koffin Kats

That Handsome Devil

The Smithereens

Snake River Conspiracy

The Smiths

Placebo

Johnny Cash

Dead Can Dance

So, tune in tonight and enjoy the program. If you have Twitter, @XRothechilde and @Darksideradio give song-to-song updates during the show.

Commercials are from: “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” and “Grand Theft Auto IV”

Promotion spots for DJ Xavier produced and Created by: DJ Mirage, Ethermagus, and DJ Parallax

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Happy Hump Day Extravaganza: The Return

Many, many moons ago, in a land called MySpace, I used to make it a point to blog a special blog on Wednesday. I called it “Happy Hump Day Extravaganza” and used the forum to post random bits and pieces about things that had occurred earlier in the week and the week previous. I figured that this would be a good day to return to those lost days and present a new installment for the WordPress edition of my eScribblings. Shall we begin?

Etta James, RIP

There really is not too much to say to this. The lady was an icon with incredible pipes. I will miss her terribly.

The Best Snack…Ever!

This morning when I arrived at one of sites that The Foundation supports, I happened to walk into the main office right as the building administrator was telling a few people there about an incident in Connecticuit. Apparently, a four year student decided to bring the party to his pre-school class and share his snack. Which just happened to be nine bags of pot. Wow! Nine bags of pot. That kid wanted to be sure that his whole class got crazy insane in the membrane! Apparently, the child did not know that the snack brought would have gone over better in the teacher’s lounge, at least they have lighters and the fine-motor coordination needed to roll a decent fatty, but that is of no consequence. The incredible thing is the article that came from the a news site that is local for those particular east coast residents:

MERIDEN — Police and DCF officials were called into an elementary school after a 4-year-old pulled out marijuana during snack time.

The teacher told police the 4-year-old special-needs child pulled out 9 individually wrapped bags of marijuana during snack time.

Police say the bags appeared to be wrapped for sale.

The child is a student at Hanover Elementary.

Police and officials from the Department of Children and Families are investigating the incident.

No arrests have been made.

Really? Nine bags that appear to be wrapped for sale? They are being too hard on that child. He may have been separating the snack for easier distribution to his classmates: “Okay, each table gets its own bag and hookah! We must share little people.” And nine bags? Yeah, right. There probably were many more, but who’s going to admit it? The parents? (“Um, excuse me, but there are actually fifteen bags missing from our stash…”) No there were more than that, they found their way to an after party thrown by a center educator of young people… And this was a special needs kid as well. Perhaps that was his special need! We need to stop hating on people and their nutritional choices. Perhaps he needed to really chill the hell out, and so did the rest of the class. Sometimes the only thing that works is a big fatty.

And no arrests have been made? It is not often that medical cheeba cheeba is bagged for resale and toted about by pre-kindergarten kiddies. Just saying…

Fatkins Eats Humble Pie?

Maybe I was missing something. Maybe the folks that I encountered in the past were misled on the Atkins Diet. Maybe I should have read up on the scheme and learned more. However, that is a lot of maybe, and I did none of the above. My understanding of the Atkins Diet was that you only filled your tum-tum with meat. Eschewing vitamin loaded vegetables and fruits, and eliminating the energy providing carbohydrates was the impression I had gotten from the dieters on that program who screamed its praise, yet still hit a plateau where they lost no more weight. A flock of tired, slightly smaller people, rapidly approaching gout and heart disease to lose the pounds that they worked hard to add to their frames. With no carbohydrates for energy, these tired souls could not attempt one of the most crucial parts of any weight loss protocol: exercise. It helps build efficient fat burning, lean muscle mass. But what do I know? I am just a vegetarian martial artist with low cholesterol, low blood pressure, and the energy to please a harem of nubile wenches (I just felt a little perverse and piratical…this entry was seeming a bit too inoffensive and tame).

But I digress. Where I mean to go with this is the commercial that I recently saw for the Atkins plan that specifies the inclusion of “healthy carbohydrates.” So, score one for the experts and take two from the misinformed puppets of the meat and dairy industry? Who knows?

American I-Don’ts

Do I really need to say more? Pretty soon, the horrible singers will be off, and I can go back to watching the antics of the dumbest whatevers on TruTV. Also, Jim Carrey’s daughter was on last night’s broadcast. She made it through the first audition and on to Hollywood. Jennifer Lopez said that she remembered the chica from the days when Jim would bring her onto the set of “In Living Color” when JLo was a flygirl on the show. And apparently, she made it through on her own merits. We shall see…

And here is a question: why do the contestants who show on one song that they have no talent, insist that they can do better by singing a different one? It never works out with a change for the failure.

Motorcycle Update

So, the saga continues with my poor motorcycle. I have resigned myself to paying for the damage myself. The bastard that ran it over has no intention of paying for the damage, and taking him to court would be too costly considering that the only victory that I would gain is the personal satisfaction of a judgement against him, a judgement that cannot affect his already horrid credit, a judgement that would never be paid.

I saw the bastard and that cunt muffin that he calls his significant other today and asked them about the damage to my motorcycle. I pointed out that October had come and gone, and they had not paid for the damage. That was when I was informed that they did not have to pay me a cent for my “piece of junk that ain’t worth the money I was asking for in repairs.” Well!

Needless to say, I am pretty upset about that situation. However, I do have a plan. A horrible plan. Hopefully, my intention will be clear and their children will not be orphaned. However, I only appealed for the intervention of the Dark Mother. We shall just have to see what she feels is an appropriate compensation to made for my loss. But for the rest of the world: Johnny Benson is a bitch! He destroys biker property and lives in Saginaw, Michigan. If you see him, do as you please. Mind you, I am not advocating any violent acts, that is left to the province of the spirits that should start chasing him in the next few hours…and until he dies. “Anger is a gift.”

And so, that will do it for today’s installment of these Hump Day shenanigans. Have a great one, happy humping!

 

Your Input is Desired and Tonight on Darkside Radio

The Octopus waves, beckons you to enjoy the show.

Octopus says: "Dance with the Green Faery!"

Greetings and Salutations! Before I go on and present a list of the tunes that will be playing on tonight’s show, I would like to take this opportunity to enlist the aid of any of you dear readers that are interested knowledgeable on the topic, and care to throw in your two cents. Last night, I watched VH1’s “100 Greatest Artists of All Time” show. I admit it, I have a thing for history, and music, and there it was combined for my nerdly enjoyment. So feeling a little inspired, and a bit theft-y, I decided to come up with my own list.

My list however, is not going to reach one hundred. In fact, I am only looking for fifty, and I am not looking for artists (re: musicians). Rather, I would like to compile a list of the “Fifty Most Influential Gothic/Industrial Musicians.” Now I would be hard pressed to find fifty such artists to qualify, so I will settle for songs. Fifty songs. My idea is to present the list in a blog, and to air the tunes on a broadcast of my show. If you are interested, send your song title (and try to be band specific, please), and if you would like, a short blurb about why you think this song is so relevant. If the song makes the cut, both your words (attributed to you) and the song will make the blog. The songs that will be chosen for the final list will be the ones that receive the most mentions/recommendations. If it helps, after the list is compiled, I can make a ballot to send to those who participate for the final vote. What do you think? Send your recommendations to me at: xrothechilde@charter.net.

And now, I present the artists that will be featured on tonight’s show. As you may notice, I decided to make tonight’s show an old school New Wave and Punk, earlier Gothic show with a dash of Alternative rock and Industrial sounds. To listen, tune to http://darksideradio.com at 10:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time (US).

Enjoy!

Tonight’s Featured Artists (Subject To Change)

The Doors

Joy Division

Bauhaus

Siouxsie and the Banshees

Hoodoo Gurus

Talking Heads

The Clash

U2

The Cure

Blondie

Adam Ant

Eurythmics

R.E.M.

Depeche Mode

Switchblade Symphony

Evanescence

Lacuna Coil

Sonic Youth

Ministry

Nine Inch Nails

Billy Idol

Muse

Eleven

The B-52’s

Berlin

Pale Divine

Kate Bush

Dead Can Dance

So, tune in tonight and enjoy the program. If you have Twitter, @XRothechilde and @Darksideradio give song-to-song updates during the show.

Commercials are from: “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” and “Grand Theft Auto IV”

Promotion spots for DJ Xavier produced and Created by: DJ Mirage, Ethermagus, and DJ Parallax

Hooray for WordPress!!!

When I awoke this morning, I turned the television on and as usual, watched reruns of “Married With Children” while enjoying a cigarette and some coffee. After a few episodes, I turned to “Good Morning America” in order to avoid the torture of enduring Tim Allen on “Home Improvement.” But, I digress…

On “GMA,” a story came on discussing various websites that have “blacked out part of their site in order to protest the US Congress’ promotion of SOPA. Apparently, the bill is designed to protect people like Disney, and others, from having their wares illegally shared/downloaded from sites that encourage such piratical behavior. So, to protest such activities some sites blacked out parts of their sites.

Which brings me to my kudos for WordPress. As a staunch supporter of anti-censorship, I was happy to see that WordPress had blacked out sections and took a stand against censorship…and against some of the horrid images that happen to come up and frighten me from time-to-time. Good job, WordPress, you have stricken a blow for the right of a free and uncensored internet, and saved many from overdosing on too many cutesy images of clouds, lakes, and sappy little cute sayings.

Granted, this is a half-assed hack job, but I am not fully focused on writing at this time and ask for your indulgence and patience. I assure you that something more full-assed is on the horizon, stay tuned.

Betty White is turning ninety. Or has turned ninety. Either way, it is hard to believe. President Obama has trouble believing this as well. See for yourself.

Well, that will do for now. A short entry, to get myself back on task.

Tomorrow is a Day of Dread

I just viewed my pending comment page and noticed that I have four spam comments that have nothing at all to do with the posts with which they were left. I guess if they were relevant, then they would not be spam.

However, I am avoiding the subject. I have a toothache. I went to the doctor over the weekend and was told that I needed to see a dentist and get a tooth pulled. Oy gevalt…

You see, dear people, your beloved Xavier is afraid of dentists. Terribly afraid. I have had a problem with this tooth for two years now, and it always ends the same. I get the ache, I finally get a sedative and go to the dentist, he gives me a temporary fix until I go and see an oral surgeon, and I feel better and ignore the surgeon. This has gone on for years.

I understand that I really should go and see the dentist and should have long ago. Yet, the nagging fear of having my tooth stolen and then facing oral rape at the hands of a fiend in a white lab coat with scary tools is what keeps me from going.

This time, this time, this time I am going to the dentist. My appointment is for ten forty-five tomorrow morning. I am terrified.

Perhaps I would not be as phobic had the doctor I saw last weekend had not made the following comment to me:

“If I had a tooth-grabby thing, then I would pull it out myself.”

Really? Tooth-grabby thing?! Where did this fellow get his medical degree? From an online medical school hosted in the Cayman Islands? Who knows. I realize the good doctor was not a dentist, but surely he could have come up with something other than tooth-grabby thing.

Okay, I am starting to get a headache and my pulse has started racing from these dental thoughts. If I make it through the ordeal tomorrow, I shall tell you how it went.

Happy New Year…!!!

…for some people, that is. As a Greco-Celt, I celebrated my new year back at the end of October, but to fit in with the minority of the world that believes it is the majority: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I originally intended to write something a long time ago, to end my absence from blogging and hopefully get over my writer’s block, Curse of Athena, or whatever was keeping words from flowing from my head to the Internet. Instead of following my original plans, I just decided to wait until this day: the first of the days until the end of the world as we know it (I am not sure if I feel fine, however…)

A lot has happened since I last wrote, and nothing has happened. By a lot has happened, I mean a lot of things have gone on: people have been born, people have died, and much, much more. So much has happened that I should be posting a few blogs; that would be the responsible thing for a hack writer to do. However, I am feeling like an irresponsible hack and will take the cheesy easy way out and write a “list” of things that just happen to be on my mind to usher in the new year.

1) The End of The World

I do not think that the end of all that we know is coming on the Twenty-First of December, Two Thousand and Twelve. In the event that I may be wrong, I have definitely got to do something about getting involved in more threesomes. I know that this seems like a weird way to begin this post, particularly after employing that ominous heading. But the reason I started there is because that is the closest thing that I can think of having that one would consider a New Year’s Resolution, which if you read on, you shall see that I never make. Really, it is not even close to a resolution. It was actually a device to lead into the next topic while incorporating some sort of awareness that people will start really getting antsy about the end of civilization. I guess I am saying that while they are freaking out, I will be trying to get my freak on.

2) Do I Exhibit “Sub” Behavior?

I went to a local *club last night. The experience was totally new to me; I have never been out to any sort of bar/party/club on any New Year’s Eve. Well, technically, I still have never done such a thing – I went to the bar after midnight, so I began my year at one of Manthony’s establishments. While there, I strayed from my normal behavior and hung out by the door with Manthony for a bit, then went over and stood next to a table. But wait, I am getting ahead of myself.

After I had gotten there and said my hellos to Manthony and the delicious yum-yum working the door with him, I walked over to the bar and ordered an Absolut and tonic, with no lemon, lime or anything in it. I had noticed the rather portly fellow when I walked in and had also noticed that he had sidled up next to me at the bar, but assumed he was just getting a drink. He attempted to start up a conversation, and his tone suggested that he was, well, I am not sure what to call him yet. Just read on and it may become clear:

Dude: “Hey.”

Me: “Hello.”

Dude: “I’ve never seen anyone order a mixed drink and tell the bartender to “hold the produce.”

Me: “A lot of people touch those things. People without gloves, or potentially clean hands.”

Dude: “That’s pretty funny. You from around here?”

Me: “I am from up north, but stay down here from time to time.”

Dude: “You come to this bar often?”

Me: “An associate of mine works here, I drop in to say hello now and again.”

Dude: “That’s a nice suit.”

Me: “Thank you.”

I then excused myself from his presence and walked back over to the door area and resumed tending my space near the door near Manthony. Eventually, a table cleared up and I went over to the table and stood there with a space to rest my drink while sending Twitter updates voicing my displeasure at the dancing ability of the crowd. Really! I felt like I was watching a field of epileptic seals frolicking under a disco ball. Sure there were some folks who could move extremely well, but in general, it was a mass of people who were going to be masturbating at home, alone, after the bar if dancing ability was a prerequisite to getting laid.

Extremely pleased with how clever I was with my Tweeting adventure, I looked up from my iPhone and noticed that the portly fellow from earlier had a portly female friend with him, and if my observation was correct, they were trying to figure out how/if to join me at my table. Finally, dude strolled over and asked if they could share the table. I obliged.

Dude: “Hi again. This is my girlfriend, Frieda” (no real names are used in this tale).

Me: “Hello, Frieda.”

Dude: “I’m Corky. I didn’t catch your name before.”

Me: “I did not throw it. I am Xavier.”

Dude: “See? Told you he was funny. And check the suit.:

Frieda: “It is a nice suit. Corky says you’re from up north.”

Me: “That is my primary residence. My business is there and so is the family home. I stay here most of the time.”

Frieda: “I wanna dance. You wanna dance?”

Me: “Oh, no thank you. That floor is too crowded with spasmatics for me at the moment.”

Dude: “Ha! Fuckin’ spazs!”

He said that he was going to go for another beer and I decided to go out and have a cigarette. I had been out there smoking and taking in the scenery for close to ten minutes when I was joined by Frieda, who I learned smoked Marlboro menthols. We stood there in silence for a bit, when Frieda decided to take a giant ice pick and shatter the ice:

Frieda: “So, Corky never knows how to do these things…”

Me: “Smoke?”

Frieda: “Heh. No, he never knows what sort of guy a guy is. And so I hafta to try and figure things out. He thinks I’m good at judging things. Actually, I just find a time to just be blunt and ask whatever.”

Me: “Okay…”

Frieda: “Well, Corky and me were wondering if you’d like to leave the bar with us and maybe hang out at our place and you know…whatever happens, happens…”

Me: “Um…”

Frieda: “Corky likes to be with guys and girls. I mean, we could do some stuff together, but we’re mostly into finding a guy to be with Corky and me, rather than me and Corky. If that makes sense.”

Me: “Yes. Thank you for the gracious offer, but I must respectfully decline. I tend to engage in such fun with my dearest Charlotte and in her absence, I could never agree to such things.”

And we said some good byes and I did not see them any more for the remainder of the evening. I guess beyond the fact that I was not where near attracted to them on either level, I was a little offended by the offer. I mean, if I interpret the offer correctly, I was being invited to join in sexual submission with this couple, this woman and I were to be pleasured, but more so to pleasure him. Now, to each his own, and I may have my own unique interests, but I certainly not the type to allow myself to be the sex toy of some arrogant jock who cannot even talk to me on his own. Oh well, c’est la vie.

3) New Year’s Resolution?

I never make a resolution for the New Year. I know that as soon as I come up with one, I will have broken it by the time one second after the New Year begins. One could say that I should try harder. Yes, one could say that…and be ignored. I never make a resolution because I think it is pointless to set myself up for what I know is going to be a failure. If I had changes that I wished to make that were that substantial, I would have noticed and begun to make it before the advent of the New Year.

4) Demanding Merry Christmas

Okay. I get it. Christmas has been in my face for many months, and now that it is out of my face, I feel like I can bitch about it. If memory serves me, I began seeing ads for Christmas stuff before Samhain hit the calendar as more than a prospective holidate. However, the true horror of the season never really hits me until December. Actually, it hits me on the tenth of December: my birthday. I do not like to make a big deal out of my birthday, but on that day, I do not want to hear about Christmas shopping, gifts, or whatever. Less than that, I do not want to hear crap about someone’s right to go about and just wish people Merry Christmas.

Do you know what I am talking about here? No? Well, I shall expand on the issue. On December 10, 2011, someone posted something on my Facebook wall going on about how they had a right to hear Merry Christmas and resented the meaning being taken out of the public forum and saying “happy holidays” “and so on and so on and scooby dooby doo…” Hey! I do not care. I deleted the offensive propaganda. I deleted the offensive propaganda despite the fact that I abhor any act of censorship. I like to let things go to spur on debate, but the inevitable Jesus-ing up of my Facebook page had to be prevented.

Really. The whole deal is a bit presumptuous. I understand that Christmas is a big deal to SOME people. SOME people. However, not everyone celebrates that particular big deal and why in the Hell should the rest of us just accept your random wish of Happy Christmas when that may not be what we want to experience. You do not catch me wishing a wondrous Yule or gleeful Solstice (which, by the way, is the ONLY non-debatable holiday/occurrence of the month) to everyone I see and getting my drawers shredded because someone does not share my belief.

5) Jujitsu

There is really not too much to say here. I reconciled with my Sensei and my school. I received my official instructor’s certificate and got a new belt. The new belt is not one of new rank, it is just a new belt. You see, I had tied and untied my other belt so often that it had turned from black to green. The only way to tell my rank was from the kanji on the belt. A couple of months ago, I was given a new belt. Now, the other senior students have stopped making jokes that I got demoted, and I can stop having to explain the color of my belt to new students by hurting them more than necessary…lol

And so ends my first post of the year. The New Year that many think is the only and most important New Year. The New Year that is supposed to be the last year according to the Mayan calendar. A year, that for me, is eagerly anticipated, horribly dreaded, and ready for me to grab by the balls.

*I believe the hours of operation posted are incorrect.