MySpace Redux: Reprinted from 13 July 2008

Once again, I have drudged up a relic from the past: a post from my old blog back on MySpace. One thing that I remember from the MySpace era is that there used to be an abundance of surveys. Maybe these surveys still exist, but I have not been dealing much with MySpace, I do not use my Facebook account for more than the occasional poking of someone, and I have not attempted to use any sort of poll here on WordPress.

Most of the time, I ignored these surveys. However, occasionally a friend of mine would suggest that I do one, and depending on the friend, I would take the time to use the survey as a blog entry and get my survey on! On other occasions, I would see some perverse potential in the survey and gleefully steal said survey for my own blog. Below is a reprint of one of those surveys that I felt the need to steal, with the entry’s corresponding introduction and original title of the post. For those of you who remember or still use MySpace, my mood at the time was “gallant.”

It is Late and I Feel Unoriginal

"Juliette" from DeSade (Did he draw this or was it inspired by the book? If you know, please tell me!)

Instead of using my full creative force to astound and amaze you all, I will present you with my answers to a quiz I stole from a friend. Since I have waited so long to post it, it will seem as if I stole the idea from a friend of mine who is, apparently, also a princess with a major fetish for her own feet. Okay, I just added that bit to the end just to get her goat. Now, with goat in hand, I give you my quiz:

Adult Survey

Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Indeed there are, and most of them know who they are already. 

Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Are you propositioning me? They all are good…

What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The left, usually. 

Pork, beef, or chicken?
Is this a trick question? In terms of an adult survey, the first one would be a verb while the others are usually nouns. I suppose it would depend on the use of the word. 

Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Yes. 

Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No, I tend to just drop trow when the mood strikes. I may need to make a friend category here that includes people who have seen me naked. No, the semi-naked tattoo pictures on this profile do not count! 

Shower or bath?
Shower. Baths make me feel as if I am stewing in my own filth. I know that this may not be the case, but I just fear bathing. However, I am not opposed to a nice soak in one after a shower, or a hottub bash with a bevy of hot babes. 

Do you pee in the shower?
Hmm…due to circumstances which may incriminate me in the future, I choose to keep this answer to myself. 

Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Yes. However, most people who sleep with me have to deal with someone who is passive-aggressive in bed. 

Do you love someone in your friends list?
Yes. Fully and totally and with all of my soul. 

Do you know all the people in your friends list?
No. 

Love or money?
Love. Most people cannot support me monetarily…

Credit cards or cash?
Cash. It looks more impressive when you flash it at homeless people. 

Have you ever had anyone in your family you wish wasn’t?
Yes. Several. 

Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
I would go camping in a Five-Star hotel. 

Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Either in a van on the Philadelphia turnpike, a rest area off of I-75, or on a pier-like thing in a public park. 

Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
No. 

More imagery inspired (or from) DeSade

Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes, several times. On a few occasions strippers have followed me home and hung out in my living room until sunrise after visiting a strip club. 

Ever been to a bar?
Yes, several times. On a few occasions strippers have followed me home and hung out in my living room until sunrise after visiting a bar. 

Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Yes. Well, not personally, I was with someone who was ejected and went out to the parking lot to mock his drunken, beaten up ass. Then I went back into the bar. 

Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
Nope. I am too afraid of midgets taking advantage of me to get that drunk. 

Kissed someone of the same sex?
The same sex as whom? 

Ever had sex in the bathroom?
Yes. Did you know that anal sex works really well in a shower? 

Have you ever had sex at work?
Yes, I have. Ask my secretary…

Have you ever been in an “adult” store?
Yes. I did not craft every item in my collection of cockrings, DVD’s and edible dildos. 

Have u ever bought anything thing from an “adult” store?
Yes. I did not craft all of my own cockrings, DVD’s and edible dildos

Ever been caught having sex?
Accidentally or intentionally? 

Do you have any naughty pics of anyone that you know personally?
Yes, I have plenty. And if those individuals do not wish to avoid any negative political, marital, or legal issues, then they will keep their mouths shut and the pictures may be forgotten. What? Of course that is not what you meant by naughty. My answer still stands. But more erotically, yes, I do have nakedly naughty pictures of many people. Friends AND foes...

Does anyone have naughty pics of YOU?
Yes, including some strange Canadians who unsuccessfully tried to fuck my secretary and I. I hope they still do not have her trapped in their cell phone. However, we at the Foundation are very concerned with any use of any Foundation Board Member’s likeness; any pictures of yours truly are not only copy written, but are encoded with tracking devices and/or viruses that will burn out the eyes of thieves and malcontents.

Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Not exactly…

Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Most of the people that I know, however, they will not repost it.

2 comments

  1. I think you really SHOULD start crafting your own cock rings. Sell those babies on etsy! I guarantee you will have the market all to yourself over there. I remember this blog. I also remember doing a lot of these surveys myself. God only knows what I wrote. I used to just write whatever came in my head, not that I don’t do that still. I sometimes miss Myspace. Not the actual site, but the fact you could have a blog and a friend list together on one site. By the way, I really wish you did use your Facebook more. I have a pitifully low number of people over there who are not completely boring dolts, and you know of course dear that YOU never have to behave on mine;)

    1. I never know what to do on Facebook. I used to go there and play apps, but that got old to me. Besides apps, what is there to do? Do people actually use the chat function and chat on Facebook?

      I know what you mean about missing MySpace. It is not the site, but the relative versatility of the site that made it useful. I do not understand it now at all.

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