“It’s the End of the World as we know it, and I feel fine…”

Just when I had thought that it would be safe to venture out and about, I learned that the Rapture scheduled for yesterday never came to pass. At least that is how it seems to be going down at this time. Really? All of the preparations that I made for today have been thrown to the wind and completely discarded. Thank you Harlod Camping for ruining what would be my first opportunity to go hunting.

However, I was elated to learn that Judgement Day was at hand, according to Mr. Camping, and come Sunday morning when all of the good Christians were taken wherever they were going to be taken, there would be a host of left-behind Christian zombies to plink away at while otherwise enjoying an oddly quite day. Not being a Christian has its advantages; apparently we “nons” are ignored in the grand reckoning to come. That is, unless we are considered heretics or non-believers and therefore deserving of punishment with the left-behinders…which I certainly doubt.

So, it was this morning that I awoke to discover that everything apparently was the same as it was when I went to bed last night, and the Rapture was not late, it seemingly did not come to pass. At least that is what Christians who were down with that idea may be thinking now. I offer a different take on the subject, suppose the Rapture did come, and all of the Christians that are wandering about now are ones that were left behind. What if there is not one single Christian who is deserving of what was allegedly supposed to come last Saturday a couple of hours after lunch? What if all of the Christians walking, driving-running-biking, about are actually not fit for hanging with the J-man?

That is not something for me to say. I am a bit of a narcissist, but I am far too intelligent to assume that I could begin to know the mind of something that I would call “god.” Particularly if that god is supposed to one that is transcendent. That which is situation above and separate, can never be truly understood by that which is below. Fortunately, my view on diety does not include the requirement or dogmatic assumption that my gods are transcendent; diety walks through and with me always, it is a part of my experience and I am not one to wait around for my religion to experience me…

And the world still turns. The sun rose, the sun set. The moon glows above and the wind howls about as a storm brews on the horizon. Instead of Christian-zombie skeet shooting, I have to be content with another walk to the range. It seems that my target practice will still be inanimate bulleyes and statues of hated enemies stored and silent in the range in the back-end of the orchards. The walk ought to me a nice one: the new grape arbors look wonderful against the white blossoms that are now raining about thanks to the high wind. Man. It would have been a great night to hunt zombies.



  1. I might just have to see if the good Sister has one of those nun get ups that I can borrow. Imagine it… I could walk around, telling those left behind that they are horrible sinners and make them repent and then instruct them to allow me to spank them with a ruler. It could be a fun night…

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